The topic of sexuality has always been a sensitive area for men. In many circles, a man’s manliness is measured by how good he is in bed – which in itself relies on how fast he can get it up again after his ejaculation.
The period between orgasm and when a man can get going again in the sack is what is known as the refractory period. In its strictest sense, the term refers to the period after stimulation that a muscle or nerve cannot be stimulated again. But when it comes to sexuality, the term focuses on men’s recovery periods between separate rounds of sexual intercourse.
Understanding and embracing your refractory period can be a great step towards achieving a steady and healthy sex life. First up, it is necessary to debunk some popular myths that surround men’s recovery periods.
The refractory period for one person can be minutes while another one may have to wait for a day. But even one particular person will have differing refractory durations depending on the body’s state at a particular time.
For instance, a man may experience a shorter refractory period when he is with partner A than when he is with partner B. Other factors such as age, health state, mood, fatigue and the particular number of rounds of intercourse all contribute to a different length of the refractory period.
While the refractory period is generally regarded as the time it takes to get it up again, this is not the strict definition. If you are able to remain hard right after an orgasm, you might still need some rest before being ready to go again. Immediate resumption, extremely rare though, may be characterized by a man’s fixation on intercourse and his lack of interest in intimacy itself, which will concern most women.
There is more to sex than the number of rounds or the duration of intercourse. Sex is largely an intimate connection and different people require different things to achieve satisfaction. Having long refractory periods, men can always indulge in other tactics to satisfy their partners. For example, longer foreplay is one such tried and tested tactic that most women adore.
Note: There is a debate on whether women need a refractory period, but that is a separate discussion.
It is important to know how long it usually takes you to recover and be able to get going again after ejaculation. With this knowledge in mind, you can reach an understanding with your partner to work with your ability. Some men, for example, are able to withhold ejaculation for a longer time but then take also a longer period to recover. Others may need additional motivation – like oral sex or other forms of foreplay – to get the engine revving once again.
The important thing, however, is to avoid mental pressure and unrealistic expectations which can make your refractory periods much longer. Because sex does, after all, depend very much on the brain.